Ceremonies of Life

Life is full of small ceremonies. Repetition is not bad as long as its its not a bad thing. A man actually has quite a few - we wear lots of hats (formerly that was actually) - home, social gatherings, work and sometimes school. Each of these places we go has a distinction and our clothes can help distinguish those things in our own mind. Distinctions are good. Vague blending is bad. Do what you are doing.

Or we could just wear the same thing every where - gym shorts for most things, jeans when its time to get formal.

But, as you've guessed, I propose something else. The very act of getting ready for each "element" of our life (work, home, etc.) is an opportunity to enjoy the ceremonies of life and to show the recipients of our presence what we think of them. It also shows that we take it seriously - whatever it is. I start at the home, because we tend to give our families the worst presentation. Now, it would be ridiculous for us to wear a suit around the house (well... maybe not too ridiculous). We don't need to act like suits are all we wear just because that was the basis of clothing 100 years ago. But, we also don't need to be in crap. It matters.

I think there's an unspoken expectation that women be at least presentable. For a housewife, that is her vocation and duty, so I think its reasonable that she dress reasonably well - at least with some preparation. I don't think anyone thinks otherwise. Yes, there are times when the kids are too much and the jammies stay on all day and no one in their right mind would say that's wrong. But it seems the norm is that a woman is presentable to the very people she lays her life down for.

Men dress like a college dropout who woke up on the couch to continue last night's video game.

Wake up call: men, your family is your vocation. I propose that you don't "dress up" but that you dress like a respectable adult. Here's what I think is reasonable:

Most of your shirts should have a collar (polo, oxford, etc). T-shirts are undershirts. You are not a damn billboard. Clean, cared-for and ironed clothing is not extravagance - its basic maturity. It takes just as long to pull up some cotton khakis as it does cotton/poly sweatpants. Khakis are your go-to pants. (They're actually more comfortable than your average jeans.) Your waist is not at your ass. Give this a try and see if it doesn't help you take your family duties more seriously. The home is not "formal" but its not for beasts either.

And from there consider your work attire. It naturally needs to fit your work environment, but for an office your basic get up is a tie and jacket. At least a jacket. Tucking in an iron shirt, donning a tie and wearing some freshly shined shoes are not abnormal acts - it should be more normal. See how it helps your productivity. See how seriously you and others take you and others when you dress like you and others matter. The goal is clothes that gown-ups wear. Your comfort is not all that matters. For the job site, durable khakis and work shirts (like LL Bean's) are your go to. Not oversized or undersized band shirts.

Without making you think that I want to dictate how you dress in your life, let me say that this has more to do with the ceremonial of your life and less with style (style is not a sin though). You can tell what a priest is doing and how seriously he takes what he is doing by the preparation he puts into what is covering his body. When he puts on a chasuble his mind and heart are preparing for what he is doing. When he removes his stole he is returning to a more vulgar activity (not in the negative way, but true sense of the word). Similarly, when a man returns from work, removes his suit and puts on his house khakis, he is entering a different part of his life. Its not that there's irreconcilable distinctions, but there's simply a difference in those things. It helps to put work on and take it off. If you have trouble separating these two things, consider having distinct garb set aside for each element - it'll help.